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DEADBEAT

by Raely

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1.
You can never know just what I'm thinking I keep my heart to myself, when I'm out on the line And trust me I been overthinking Don't press me when I lie, when I say that I am fine But every night I am a victim to my lacking inhibitions Do whatever feels right, i-if it feels right And every night I make the same mistakes, insane in definition Do whatever feels right I'm like a deadbeat Never do anything Drunk ass, dancing up a blue streak Pissing on a side street Deadbeat Fucking in a back seat Nomad, never where I should be Never doing anything Dead... beat Dead... beat You can never hear me when I'm crying I keep my soul tucked away, when I'm out on the town And oh the time, it keeps on flying I got a list of things to do, but I been laying around And I know that it's empty (and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know) And I know that I'm a zombie That I'm a deadbeat... But it never feels right!
2.
body heat 02:41
It's dark and it's lonely In the croud no one knows me Touch and go slowly Feeling all the commotion Every groove, every notion Lose myself in the ocean Ooh, I can't sleep Got so used to you and your body heat Ooh, What a treat Didn't know that you'd be my perfect sweet But I'm blackout, tryna act out In the nothing Find out what I'm about Feel something Ooh, I can't sleep Got so used to you and your body heat And I search for some comfort But my time ends up numbered Never right when it's others Feeling every emotion Know I'll never be broken But I'm close, yeah I'm holding On
3.
At the front of the line Heart’s weighing me down tonight; Hands stamped at the door All I see are the nights we had before They toast their drinks, see me in the corner “Aren’t you having fun?!” I could lie to myself and them, Or never relive this shit again: Why does every damn night have to be the same? Get drunk in a little dark room! Would that honestly be your answer If I asked you what, out of anything, you wanted to do... Could someone knock down a wall So we can run free? I’ll pay double the cover to hover In a Jacuzzi Cuz I’m tired of the same blue lights For the price of these drinks, I need to see moonlight! Could someone knock down a wall? I can’t breathe in this club... How’d we all end up here How’d we swallow this shitty deal? Unconditionally At a place where it takes ten years to pee? They toast their drinks, then call the Uber “Where should we go next?” It don’t have to be like this Tell them not a simple bitch! Why does every damn night have to be this way? My friends yelling in my ear, I want a club where you can do a ton of drugs And just... lay... down... And before you say anything, that’s not just a fucking bedroom, bitch. I want that shit to be COMMUNAL, ok? Where’s the club with aaaany fucking soft edges? I am a bitch who needs COMFORT. I no longer need to lean against a hard fucking railing and gyrate while a Finance Bro shows me his Instagram of Bespoke Watches... I want to do a shot of Jack and run the 50 yard dash With a dope queen I’ve never met I wanna dance my ass off, with 50 dogs Now how much is the cover for that? Are you really... having... fun? Could someone knock down a wall Inside my heart? I’ll pay double the cover to love all my complex parts Cuz I’m tired of the same “new beats” For the price of these drinks, I need to renew me Could someone knock down a wall? ‘Cuz I can’t breathe in this club
4.
i been in the club with my girls tonight looking for a man to set my sights kiss a lot of frogs for mr right said kiss a lot of frogs for mr right if u got a crush, u can call me mandy u can be my spongebob, i'll be ur sandy many have tried but few can really land me can you land me? i'm like a kid in a candy store, when you're my daddy you can buy me more (more, more) i'm so insatiable, too super-fi-ci-al but if you pay for it, than i'm in for sure 1-800-find me a daddy need a man to fall in love madly think me sweet, unwrap me like candy 1-800-i'm sugar baby haven't been taken care of lately think me sweet? then step up and date me! wanna live life shallow and painless just like miley no one cam tame us idols like the rich and the famous i wanna be famous! need a new bag, and need a new car rent piling up, and i'm draining my bar you're my producer, i'll be your star i got starpower wrist too bare? drip it in candy nose too bare? drip it in candy sheets too bare? let's drip it in candy!
5.
Everyone’s a lil drunk But I abstained so I could drive Had a glass of wine at seven then hydrated cause I’m wise Now it’s getting close to midnight And since I command my fate I know what my future holds and before it gets too late… We’re piling in the minivan I’m driving cause you’re wasted Bring your cash, you owe me one Last weekend, yeah, I payed, kid! It’s nothing too expensive It’s not too far away It’s time for Cook Out, baby Yeah I need my Cook Out Tray! Pulled Pork, coleslaw, quesadillas, chicken strips Cajun fries, and hot dogs, ask for honey mustard dips Wouldn’t eat it every day, but you know what the people say Corn dog, cheese burger, have your fix, your cookout tray Everyone has had a NIGHT And there’s so much to unpack Was that guy your friend from high school? He was cute, yeah text him back Hey we’re pulling in the drive through Separate orders? Oh that’s right I’ve been driving you around so my tray’s on you tonight! Everyone’s still looking hot Yeah that romper fits just right Do you wanna crash at my place? Bingewatch Netflix like all night Put that milkshake in the freezer Let’s pull out the couch downstairs Do you have work in the morning? Damn me too but hey, who cares?! Milkshake, make no mistake, I know it’s not good quality It’s about the ritual - I-I love you, you love sweet tea! Coke float, onion rings, BLT and fresh hushpuppies Snack wrap, chicken sandwich, don't forget our huge sweet teas Wouldn't eat it every day, but you know what the people say Cheerwine, chili cheese fries, have your fix, your cookout tray
6.
Tell me what's your game, boy Get into my lane, boy Tryna learn everything to know about you You're driving me insane, boy Guess we call that brain, boy Tryna figure out what I should do with you You get me out my mind And I know that I'm ruined Yeah I'll never be fine I'm out my head Come into my world boy Slip into my bed Fuck a starcrossed romance we could play lovers tonight Fuck a starcrossed romance we could play lovers tonight It don't matter what they think boy, Just tell me that it feels alright Fuck a starcrossed romance we could play lovers tonight Breathing in your atmosphere I spin into your orbit Everything is crystal clear I don't want to ignore it I'm not gonna die for you boy But baby I'm dying I'm not gonna die for you boy But baby I'm dying
7.
no sense of time, could be 3, seems early know this a crime, i don't care, never worry lights off, straight ahead only stopping if i'm dead pushing 80, pushing 90 it's 100, i'm ahead never one to quit, i'll admit - jeffree star best that you can get, yeah i'm it - jeffree star checking out my fit, when i split - jeffree star never one to quit, take a hit - jeffree star whipping through the streets, eyes are pink - jeffree star revving up the beat, got reciepts - jeffree star engine feel the heat, one to beat - jeffree star whipping through the street, shade of pink - jeffree star full tank of gas, down to E, going burn out fucking pressed to be, same for me, i'm a burn out rav4, mazerati any model make or body push the limit, push ahead push away from everybody drunk drivin, yeah we spinning out a foreign, never let this shit get boring do it one more time vroom vroom
8.
That boy's a doctor And he's all bathed in blue The kind that keeps you all awake In late night hours I'm more his proctor Keep telling what to do But he keeps diving down the Chasms he uncovers Strange to leave your house after eleven pm I'm no insomniac. I sleep all night, and hollow out my afternoons with naps just like my mother Like the others, who aren't blue Our light is warm and amber-colored. Under covers, we sleep That boy could fix me Likes having things to do Likes having things to work on Give him my body, he can work on And if he lets me I'd soak up all his blue I'd soak up his dark colors Give him my body, he can color on it Dangerous lovers sleep just like the others
9.
tomorrow 02:32
Hit the light, rise and shine Don't matter watcha did, it's whatcha do now Wash your skin, clear your mind Don't matter watcha did, it's in the past now Party with the boys but, get up with the men tomorrow Hide inside the noise, you can find your peace tomorrow Everythings in flames tonight, you can try again tomorrow Party with the boys all night, get up with the men tomorrow Go for clothes, grab a bite Don't matter watcha pick, it's that you try now Sober up, face the light Don't matter watcha did, it's in the past now Don't matter watcha did, it's whatcha do now

about

48 hour album, made over the weekend from July 12-16, 2019. Counted the hours cumulatively, instead of linearly, so I could subtract sleep and work.

credits

released July 16, 2019

featuring vocals by raely qiu and tracy paul
featuring songwriters raely qiu, logan ritchey, sophie larin, tracy paul, and emily morton-smith

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Raely Qiu Raleigh

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